Monday, March 8, 2010

Funny Business

Funny Business

submitted by Mike Barthman

you Kill me,

literally murder with kindness.

clothes come off but nothing

goes on—no Funny Business.

bed stays made. the whole

Negotiation is so silly

serious, is So much better

with carnal levity. men

are Supposed to look

funny Naked We look

Funny Naked,

We droop—we DO.

We are Space INvaders,

Turkey basters, put buns

in ovens like bakers

early morning.


could armpit hair

have grown into this? Should we

really have split up in Sex-Ed?

you woman, you Women:

everything beautiful

all over you,

falling in scraps

when you laugh

or you sneeze,

within you Heard

through the friction

of your fingers

    when you itch

    at an itch.

i beg my pardon for not coming

up with a come on. So, asking

if women are feminists won’t

get me Ass around here?

Didn’t want ass.

the Best part has always

been laughing. Really,

it’s So silly serious,

we look So Funny naked

we wear jokes instead

of undies to cover

our birth marks.

Can’t we be “Someone Smart

and Funny”?—we are “’someone’

‘smart’ and ‘funny’.”

This drooping is only

getting worse. i’ve seen

the other side, i’ve been

to the Y locker room.

Yet i’ve seen

The Art in your Limbs,

composition of

abdomen. You

women, Are

something else



so Keep you warm?

you are literally already

killing me. but Know I’m not much

for calorimetry; Any chemist

would call me junk.

Junk, maybe. better

or worse—i’ll be

a droopy Someone

    funny treasure.

but about the Funny Business,

when the clothes come off,

when something goes on,

After Laughing.

it’s quiet as if trying.

loudest sound

is an out of line gasp

stepped on

by the next

almost Booms


the lone

barrier the

whole entire

world leans

in to hear

her eyes








is funny

—the world

needs comedy.

so not funny

but the world

is obliged

by her smile



turns back

to it’s Tax returns

and Parking tickets.

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